It's In The Past, Isn't It?
by RitSuYue
Summary: ONESHOT Botan and Hiei split up, but Hiei still comes to see Yukina. It's enivitable for her to not see him. Is she still in love with him, or has time healed her wounds? HB


I know I should be working on my other fic, but this idea popped into my head and I had to write it! Please read and review! And I'll get back to my other fic!

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It's In The Past, Isn't It?

_Botan's POV _

_He _came again. I've been staying Genki's temple ever since Koenma let me retire ferrying. I was thankful to Koenma for retiring me early. He said it was for saving mankind so often with Yusuke. Now I'm just Yusuke's assistant and I live in Ningenkai with all my friends. But... Even after we broke up, _he_ still comes. He comes, no doubt to see his sister, but his visits are becoming more frequent. From monthly to weekly and weekly to daily. Of course I'm happy to see him, but...

_**Don't say those things.**_

Maybe, just maybe I still... but I can't, not ever again.

There was a knock on the door and Yukina went to answer. I just continued to watch the rain smack against the window on the window sill. It was like this for a while now. Yukina came in with him. She had motioned him to sit at the table and went off to get tea. The room was silent, I dared not to talk to him. Though I took a sneak peek at him, he remained the same, but changed so much, couldn't you tell?

_**Because those things are gone.**_

He was staring into nothing, always focused on something I could never quite see. He was always diligent, always in thought. His ruby eyes were something of wonder. You could get lost into them for hours and not even notice. Those eyes were now emotionless, blank, but I remember... I remember the days when those eyes were filled with the complexity of his soul. Yukina bustled in with cups and a kettle.

"Tea, Botan-chan?" She smiled sweetly.

"No, no thank you, Yukina-chan." I wasn't in the mood for tea, but smiled at her offer. She nodded and went off to him.

"Tea?" He accepted her offer gratefully. Genki came into the room.

"Hiei? Back so soon?" She sat down at the far end of the table. He only nodded his head in acknowledgment. Yukina placed a cup in front of her. "Thank you Yukina-chan." Yukina sat down, across from him, and began chatting with him. I listened for a while.

"So, Ni-san, how's Makai?" She poured tea for herself.

"Hn. Nothing important." He sipped some of the steaming liquid from his cup. His voice was different.

_**Gone with the sands of time...**_

The tone didn't change, it was the harshness of it. His voice was bitter, cold, his old voice. After all she had done, it didn't change a thing. It wasn't easy breaking the stone walls he build around himself. I had done it once, but didn't know if I could do it again. I was on the verge of tears.

_**It's in the past,**_

"Botan-chan," She broke my concentration. "..would you like to join us?"

"Thanks, but I think I want to go to my room." I couldn't bear it, he sat there like it was nothing. Just quietly drinking tea. I walked out of the room, and when I was sure it was ok, I ran to my room. I threw myself at the bed and let the pungent water fell down my face. It was too much to bear. "Hiei..."

_**...isn't it?**_

_Hiei's POV_

She went to her room, upset about something. It was none of my concern now. Or at least I don't think it is.

"Ni-san, is Botan-chan okay?"

"Hn." I told Yukina she could just call me Hiei, but she insisted to call me 'Ni-san'. I didn't mind anyway.

"Maybe you should talk to her." I twitched. She was treading a thin line even if she was my twin.

"Why would you say that?" I took another sip.

"Because she's still not over it." She poured me more tea. Yukina was innocent and naïve, but she wasn't stupid. After all, it's in her blood.

"It's in the past." Ignoring the fact that Genki was still there. I finished my tea and picked up my katana. I left back to Makai. I would, of course, return tomarrow.

_**You look at me,**_

_Flashback_

"Hiei... You can't do this!" She cried over the roaring wind.

"Hn."

"You just can't!"

"And why not?"

"Because I love you!"

"Hn. I can never return your feelings again." He turned away, he couldn't stand to watch her cry. She was too close to him, it had to be done.

"Hiei! You say you love me, then you throw me away!" She slapped him hard. He let her hit him, after all, he did deserve it. The endless tears just kept falling. "But... no matter what... no matter what I still love you." She rolled into a ball on the ground. He reached out to her... "Don't touch me!" She flung his hand away. "Just leave." He did so obediently, leaving her in the rain.

_End Flashback_

_**And the memories come rushing back.**_

I knocked on the door again. My twin answered like she always did.

"Ah, Ni-san! Back again?" She smiled and lead me in. I sat like always in the chair at the table. And like always she was on the window sill, she never looked at me, nor anyone else, but Yukina. But what she didn't know was that I wasn't there just for Yukina. My daily visits were for her also. I did love her, but was afraid to open myself to someone. So I pushed her away. And carefully, I rebuilt the wall she so easily broke down. I didn't show this, and she could never know. It's better this way, for the both of us.

_**Like a mighty river.**_

_Botan's POV_

Did he see me glance at him? He shouldn't have come again. He doesn't know how much this kills me. Mostly because I **may** still love him. He was always like this so cold, uncaring. I always try, but it never works...

"Botan-chan, would you like to join us?" The same invite everyday. I smiled for a change. '_But maybe... just maybe, if I try my hardest, something might change_. I took a sit next to Hiei. _'For the better.'_ I gave him a smile.

_**Please don't remind me.**_

"Hello Hiei." He seemed surprised to see me there. In that instant, he let his mask slip, and I saw the Hiei I loved.. no I still love.

"Hn." He turned his head, slyly sliding the mask back on. Yukina looked back and forth at the two and smiled.

"Oh! I ran out of tea. I'll be back." She hurried out of the room, leaving only Botan and Hiei.

_**Because it'll only make me think,**_

"You know.." I spoke suddenly. "...it still hurts." He didn't reply. "But now, it's ok. I'm not confused anymore!" I smiled ironically. "Because I know now that I still love you." I looked at him. He didn't look at me, but his eyes grew wide. "So Hiei, if I'm hurt, please, I want you to be the one to do it." I held his hand firmly in mine. This time, I want the truth before I give up. "I want to know, do you love me?" He was silent, staring at my hand laced with his. I wasn't going to let go, not this time.

"I... I do... love you." He was hesitant in his words, but they came clearly. "Which is why I can't be with you. I am the Forbidden Child, unable to feel..." I placed my finger over his lips.

_**And besides...**_

"Don't ever tell me your 'unable to feel love'! Because I know that's all a lie." I placed his hand to my cheek. "I don't care about any prophecy or titles. If I did, then I fell in love with the Forbidden Child, the Jaganshi, the wielder of the dragon darkness flame. I fell in love with Hiei." I felt strong arms wrapped around my waist.

"I didn't want to lose you." He stroked my hair.

_**It's in the past,**_

"You never will." I smiled and hugged him back.

_**...isn't it?  
**_


End file.
